Overheard in Hell:

The late Joe Paterno

"Way to go, Corbett. Nice lawsuit! Fucking douchebag. Quit trying to start your re-election campaign on my corpse. I'm DEAD. LET ME REST IN PEACE, GODDAMMIT! Oh, and you see where I am, right, Tommy Boy? We've got the 'Tom Corbett' wing all set up and ready for you, ya prick. It was my idea, but Satan backed it ALL THE WAY. Satan was even more thrilled when I suggested the 'Dick Thornburgh' wing. See you both soon!"

The late Joe Paterno, former football coach at The Pennsylvania State University, responding to a federal court decision dismissing a lawsuit against the NCAA filed by Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett in what the court termed a "hail Mary pass" attempt to block sanctions against Penn State.