 |
| John Kerry |
“Don’t
you have a dick to suck somewhere, Sen. McCain?”
Secretary
of State John Kerry responding to Sen. John McCain, who is alleging
Kerry spends too much time and money traveling the world.
Showing posts with label Secretary of State John Kerry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Secretary of State John Kerry. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
Overheard on John Kerry's Cellphone:
 |
| John Kerry |
“President Putin, who do you think you are anyway? You can’t go around invading countries
on some trumped-op pretext! That is just wrong. And if Russia wants to sit at
the grown-up table, it needs to act like it.
Secretary of State
John Kerry
- - -
 |
| Vladimir Putin |
“So,
Secretary of State Johnny ‘Longface’ Kerry, you say that no country should
invade another on a phony pretext, is that what you believe? This is what the
mighty United State of America believes?”
Russian President Vladimir Putin
- - -
|
| John Kerry |
“Yes,
that is what the United States believes and how we try to behave.”
Secretary
Kerry
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“Then
how could United States go marching into Iraq on the pretext of Saddam Hussein
having weapons of mass destruction, when the only WMD he had was his breath,
and there was no evidence of any connection between Iraq and the 9/11 terrorist
action?”
President
Putin
- - -
 |
| John Kerry |
“I
wasn’t secretary of state back then, Mr. Putin, so I can’t really address
that.”
Secretary
Kerry
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“No?
But as senator, you did vote in favor
of Iraq invasion, and then you defended the action when you ran for president,
even though it was very clear there were no WMDs to be found anywhere in Iraq.
You come over here acting all high-and-mighty
but the United States has its own history of bullshit actions.”
President
Putin
- - -
|
| John Kerry |
“Just
because we did it doesn’t mean you can.”
Secretary
Kerry
- - -
|
| Vladimir Putin |
“And
just because you say I can’t doesn’t mean I should walk away,
Johnny Longface, no matter how much American righteous indignation you hurl at me with your accusatory glances. Now leave me alone, I have civilians to slaughter. Oh, and gay boys, too.”
President
Putin
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Overheard on 'This Week':
 |
| George Stephanopoulos |
"Is the United States ready to kick Putin's ass? Are we
prepared to nuke them?"
George Stephanopoulos, host of ABC's 'This Week'
- - -
 |
| John Kerry |
"Uhm maybe we can dial this back a little George and
find out what the fuck is really happening? Maybe try some diplomacy before we
go berserk?"
Secretary of State John Kerry
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Overheard Outside the Heinz Mansion:
 |
| John Heinz |
“Trust me:
there is no way President Bashar al-Assad will be part of a transitional government in Syria. He has no legitimacy as a leader.”
U.S.
Secretary of State John Kerry
- - -
 |
| Theresa Heinz Kerry |
“Oh
well sure. Everyone knows that what the man with the gray toupee says goes!
Because he is the boss man! The big cheese! The grand poobah! The man who is
too busy to help his poor, lonely wife change the sheets in their 32-bedroom
mansion! Goddammit, John! You know what a hard time I have telling the flat
sheets from the fitted ones!”
Theresa
Heinz Kerry, wife of Secretary Kerry
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