Overheard in Texas:

John Cornyn

“TEA Party sphincter says 'what'?”

Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas)

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Steve Stockman

“What?”

Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas)

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John Cornyn

“Exactly.”

Sen. Cornyn, who trounced Stockman’s TEA Party challenge in the Texas Primary election this week. The challenge was based on the premise that Cornyn just isn’t conservative enough for real Republicans.

Overheard in Texas:

Steve Stockman

“Well, I lost my primary bid to unseat Sen. Cornyn. And I’m not running for re-election to Congress. The reality is that it would not be possible to duplicate my record of total non-achievement in the House, so I don’t even want to try. My record will stand for itself. God I suck.”

Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas)

Overheard at the State of the Union:

Steve Stockman

“Of course I walked out of the State of the Union address! Steve Stockman doesn’t listen to lies and nonsense! Plus the president was using too many big words! I couldn’t keep up!”

Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas), TEA Party favorite and Senate candidate

Overheard in Texas:

Steve Stockman

“Yes, it’s true, I had my Senate opponent John Cornyn Photoshopped into some rather nasty photographs celebrating Obamacare with President Obama! I know he was there at the celebration! I know it! I don’t know what happened to the photos, but he WAS there. Cornyn is secretly a LIBERAL SYMPATHIZER and here is Texas, that’s the same as being a … hummersexual!”

Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas), a major TEA Party favorite challenging incumbent Republican Texas Sen. John Cornyn (R)

Overheard Outside Rep. Steve Stockman's Private Restroom:

Steve Stockman

“No, I don’t think I am losing the endorsements of conservative PACs and things like the NRA because I’m a stupid lazy fuck who has lied on every election filing I’ve made to the Federal Elections Commission and you have a lot of nerve asking that question.”

Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas), commenting on the continued lack of support for his Republican primary challenge of incumbent Texas senator John Cornyn. Stockman remains a TEA Party favorite.