Overheard in Pennsylvania:

Tom Corbett

“That Fucking POPE. We go ALL-L-L-L-L-L the way to Rome and all he does is greet us as part of one long line of the unwashed masses waiting to say hello to the guy. Did we get the private audience we promised the state we’d get? NO. Did we get the pope’s commitment to come to Philly next year? NO. Did we get diddlysquat? NO. However, we did get an opportunity for me to use the POPE’s name and identity to raise funds for my campaign. Yep! It's right there on my campaign website! Now that is a righteous act. Can you all say hallelujah & amen?”

Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett (R), who traveled with a contingent of state officials to Rome last week to hold what was billed as a private meeting with the pope but turned out to be a nod and a smile as part of a standard “meet and greet” by the pontiff. The trip was financed by public dollars, though photos were later used as part of fundraising efforts on Corbett’s re-election campaign.

Overheard in Pennsylvania:

Tom Corbett

“Now when you poor people go to the polls in November, I want you to remember good old Gov. Corbett, goddammit, because HE kept your food stamp benefits FOR YOU! Yeah, that’s right. I followed New York and Connecticut’s lead and averted cuts to food stamp beneficiaries in Pennsylvania. I’m the first GOP governor in the nation to do it. Except I’m smarter than the Democrats: I did it using federal block grant money—not state money! I’ll spend about $8 million to preserve about $300 million a year in food stamp money. Of course, since I’m using grant money, maybe we won’t be able to do the same thing next year … What we will do depends upon how well the poor people behave in the 12 months … And of course, since I’m up for re-election this year, I may not be around anyway, so who gives a fuck?”

Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett (R)

Overheard in Pennsylvania:

Tom Corbett

“Of course I did it all for the poor people! That’s all we have in Pennsylvania. No, I didn’t do it because of extensive lobbying by retailers decrying the loss of $300 million per year in sales because of the proposed federal food stamp cuts. Me? Act in the best interests of the rich and wealthy? In the best interests of business interests? Perish the thought! Who spreads these lies?”

Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett (R)

Overheard in Pennsylvania:

Tom Corbett

“Yes, it is true, I had surgery to repair an abdominal hernia today. It is not true that I received the hernia while trying to lift my public approval ratings out of the teens.”

Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett (R), who polls say is SIGNIFICANTLY behind the top two Democratic challengers in the commonwealth's gubernatorial race

Overheard on Gov. Tom Corbett's Cellphone:

Tom Corbett

“Of course the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is underfunding public education at all levels—from kindergarten through college! What do you expect? We have a Republican controlled House and Senate, along with a Republican governor. We could give the schools more money, but they’d just piss it away. Besides, how do you think we are paying for our new prisons?”

Gov. Tom Corbett (R-Pennsylvania)