Overheard in Harry Reid's Office:

Mitch McConnell

“Harry Reid is going to kill the Senate if he takes away the Republicans’ right to filibuster judicial nominations made by the president. Reid is an evil mean sonuvabitch who represents everything bad about politics in America today, and if any of our forefathers were still alive, they would be literally crying over what he is proposing. I myself am ripped apart emotionally over it. If I wasn’t the true American I am, I’d consider moving to another country over this.”

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky)

Harry Reid

- - -

“Oh, yeah. You’re crying great big crocodile tears, McConnell. I’m a sonuvabitch? I’m mean? I’m what’s bad in politics? I wish I had your balls. The things that come spilling out of your vile mouth!”

Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nevada)

- - -

Mitch McConnell

“Crocodile tears? Oh no, Harry. I don’t cry. It is not physically possible. I was born without tear ducts. Go ahead; make fun of a man with a physical deformity. I have a designated crier. Get in here, Johnny Boner.”

John Boehner

Sen. McConnell

- - -

“See? He is crying my tears for me. He’s a handy guy for me to have around considering my disability.”

Sen. McConnell

- - -

Harry Reid

“Look McConnell. You are the only person in the entire world who believes the Senate Is functioning well. We are an embarrassment. We cannot accomplish even the simple things because of partisanship. If I have to change the rules to get things moving, and I have the votes to do it, I will. Someone has to save the Senate.”

Mitch McConnell

Sen. Reid

- - -

“So which one are you?”

Harry Reid

Sen. McConnell

- - -

“Which what?”

Sen. Reid

- - -

Mitch McConnell

“Which superhero are you? You say you’re going to save the Senate and you make it sound like it will require a superhero to do it. So which on are you—Superman? Wonder Woman?
Wolverine? Batman?”

Sen. McConnell

Harry Reid

- - -

“Yeah right, I’m Wonder Woman. Grow up, you dick.”

Sen. Reid

Mitch McConnell

- - -

“You know, I’ve always suspected you were a transvestite. You’ve got that look about you. I’ll be announcing that later today: Senate Leader Wears Women’s Panties.’ The American People won’t stand for it. You're finished.”

Sen. McConnell

Harry Reid

- - -

“You have helped me to understand why people hate, McConnell. I thank you for that.”

Mitch McConnell

Sen. Reid

 - - -

“That is MY superpower.”

Sen. McConnell