Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

Eric Cantor

“No GOP members are advocating a government shutdown to stop Obamacare.”

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virginia)

Rand Paul

- - -

“Uhmmm … Eric? Speak for yourself.”

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky)

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Ted Cruz

“Yeah, Eric. I guess you didn’t get the memo. Shithead.”

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas)

Mike Lee

- - -

“Or maybe he’s dyslexicational.”

Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah)

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Eric Cantor

“Gentlemen, gentlemen. This would be a colossal mistake!”

Rep. Cantor

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Marco Rubio

“You can’t say you’re against Obamacare and then vote to fund it, dammit. That seems rather contradictory, doesn’t it?”

Sen. Marco Rubio

Eric Cantor

- - -

“The four of you have been in office a collective total of what, two years? What you are proposing is ludicrous and wrong.”

Eric Cantor

Ted Cruz

- - -

“Ooooh. Mr. Fancypants says we’re doing it wrong. Oooh. I guess we should all hide our heads in shame.”

Sen. Cruz

Rand Paul

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“‘Oh, hang down your head, Tom Dooley. Hang down your head and cry’…”

Sen. Paul

Mike Lee

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“Cantor is such a Mr. Know-it-All. WHOA! WHAT DIED? Sorry. I just farted.”

Sen. Lee

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Eric Cantor

“Uhmmm… I would say I am a know-it-all compared to you fuckers. At least I have an understanding of how government needs to operate. Sen. Lee, if personal wealth is a measure of intelligence, and most members of the GOP would tell you it is, I am Albert Einstein compared with your Bozo the Clown, so don’t fuck with me or I will wipe the floor with your pasty white ass, you pathetic Mormon-loving shithead.”

Rep. Cantor

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John McCain

“Hey! Now that’s hitting below the belt, Eric. You apologize right now. Sen. Lee is no pathetic Mormon-loving shithead with a pasty white ass. He’s pasty white all over, and a piece of shit besides. Get out of my way, Eric. I’ve had it with this quartet. I plan on introducing them to my bolt cutters. But don’t worry. I won’t cut anything completely off. I stopped collecting souvenirs after Vietnam.”

Sen. John McCain (R-Arkansas)

Ted Cruz

- - -

“Guys… McCain is a fucking maniac. RUN!”

Sen. Cruz

Overheard on Fox:

"Government bad. BAD GOVERNMENT. BAD BAD."

Sen. Randall Howard “Rand” Paul (R-Kentucky), the TEA Party-affiliated Libertarian considering a presidential run in 2016. Paul had never held office before winning election to the Senate 2010. Prior to being elected, Paul was an ophthalmologist. His personal wealth is estimated at $1.2 million.

 

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"Dude, you realize you are part of the government right?"

 Butthead

 

- - -

"Of course I know that, you little jerk."

 Sen. Paul

- - -

"Heh, heh. You said jerk. And the government heard it. With its secret surveillance program. Heh. Heh."

Beavis

Overheard in Washington, D.C.

Rand Paul

"John Kerry is one snotty sounding bastard. Every time he opens
his fucking Massachusetts mouth, I just want to close it with a
soccer ball."

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky), the TEA Party-affiliated Libertarian considering a presidential run in 2016. Paul had never held office before winning election to the Senate 2010. Prior to being elected, Paul was an ophthalmologist. His personal wealth is estimated at $1.2 million.

John Kerry

- - -

"This is just how intelligence sounds, Sen. Paul. If you had any, you'd know. And I have to wonder.... is this the type of behavior they teach in Libertarian School? To go around offering up elementary school sounding insults aimed at people who are different from you?
Tsk, tsk."

Rand Paul

 Secretary of State John Kerry, former senator from Massachusetts.

- - -

"I am not childish!. I am not, am not, am not! La-la-la-la! I can't hear you! I'm not listening!"
Rand Paul

John Kerry

- - -

"There, there, now Rand. I think you need a time out. Or a nap.
A cookie and some milk perhaps?"

 John Kerry     

 

Overheard on 'Hannity':

Sen. Rand Paul

"If teachers had guns, there would not have been a Newtown Massacre. There would also be a helluva lot fewer behavioral problems in the classroom and a complete end to bullying, because I haven't seen a first-grader yet who won't back down when you pull out a gun. Usually they wet their pants. Trust me on that. And isn't that what we really want to teach our kids? That guns are the answer to all problems?"

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky), who is considered a likely GOP presidential candidate in 2016. Paul is TEA Party-affiliated, Libert

arian, and had never held office before winning election to the Senate 2010. Prior to being elected, Paul was an ophthalmologist. His personal wealth is estimated at $1.2 million.