Overheard on Conservative Talk Radio:

Louie Gohmert

“What do you mean people in the United States die younger than people in countries with socialismistic health care programs like Obamacare? That’s a LIE! … What? It’s really true? Really? Shit.”

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas)

Overheard in Rep. Louie Gohmert's Head:

Louie Gohmert

“What would Rep. Louie Louie do if he were president? If Rep. Louie Louie were president, the first thing he'd do is make Fruit Loops the national flower.”

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas)

Overheard in Louie Gohmert's Head:

Louie Gohmert

“My mom used to tell me, ‘Now, Louie Louie! Now you stop being like those gay boys and masturbating so much or all of your hair will fall out. I guess we see who won that one, huh! It didn’t ALL fall out! HA!”

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas)

Overheard on Conservative Talk Radio:

Louie Gohmert

"Rep. Louie Louie says it's time for all the blacks who became free men under the Civil Rights effort to stand up with the WHITES in this great nation and help us to discriminate against the gays! You blacks OWE US for making you equal, dammit!"*

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), speaking on conservative talk radio. Gohmert is credited with being one of the 10 dumbest members of Congress, perhaps in the history of Congress.

*(Yeah, he really said it.)

Overheard On Rep. Louie Gohmert's Cellphone:

Louie Gohmert

“What’s a sub-human? Is that a human who lives on subs … from Subway? Or a human who lives on a submarine? Rep. Louie Louie wants to know!”

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas)

Overheard Outside a Texas Mental Hospital:

Louie Gohmert

“Rep. Louie Louie is forming my own political action committee! The GOH Political Action Committee. Get it? GOH—Gohmert? Mom said it was cute. I wanted to call it the ‘Fruit Loops Political Action Committee,’ but Mom said no. GOH-PAC is going to fight against liberal oppression of TEA Party conservatives and other things that don’t really happen. GOH-Pac. Rep. Louie Louie is very s-m-r-t man.”

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), a TEA Party favorite and recognized as one of the 10 dumbest members of Congress