Overheard on Ronald Reagan's Cellphone:

Ronald Reagan

“What would I do if I were president? If I were president, the first thing I’d do is … why I’d … well, you know … and then I’d … uhm … wait … wasn’t I the president once?” 

Former President Ronald Reagan

Overheard on Ronald Reagan's Cellphone:

Ronald Reagan

“You want me to say it now? OK:

"Mr. Putin! Tear down this WALL! What? There's no wall? … Oh well … uhm ... yes.”

Former President Ronald Reagan

Overheard in Hell:

Ronald Reagan

 

"Another 'Reagan Revolution?' Sen. Cruz, you couldn't polish my boots, son. I wouldn't let you because I think you're too stupid to do it right. I'm surprised you can even pronounce my name, with you being Canadian and all."

Ronald Reagan (R), 40th president of the United States, former governor of California and former B-movie actor

Overheard on Ronald Reagan's Cellphone:

 

“What nobody ever figured out until later is that my ‘trickle-down economics’ theory really meant the people at the bottom were getting pissed on. Yes, well, uhm … uhm … well, yes.”

Former President Ronald Reagan

Overheard on Ronald Reagan's Cellphone:

Ronald Reagan

“I issued 50 percent more executive orders annually than President Obama, and if you don’t like it, well … well … oh yeah … fuck off.”

Former President Ronald Reagan

Overheard in Hell:

Ronald Reagan

"If I was still the president ... well ... uh... I... I....uh ... well ... I like doughnuts. How about you?"

Ronald Reagan (R), 40th president of the United States, former governor of California and former B-movie actor