Overheard in Hell:

Michael Jackson

“Just think, people. Today would have been my fifty-fifth birthday—if I wasn’t dead of course. And just think… if I were still alive… I’d still be hard at work… sexually assaulting other people’s children.”

Michael Jackson, singer/pedophile/fruitcake/addict

Overheard in Hell:

Michael Jackson

"I have been dead for almost four years and people are still coming forward to say I sexually assaulted them. Don't blame those men, which they are now. Sometimes it takes years for survivors to become brave enough to stand up to the Boogeyman and trust me, I was the Boogeyman for a lot of little boys. A LOT of little boys."

Michael Jackson, singer/songwriter/dancer/whack job/pedophile/corpse.

Overheard in Hell:

Michael Jackson

"Relax. Stop clutching your children so tightly. I am still dead and can't hurt them. Christ. Why did I let them sell me this nose? It looks like shit."

Michael Jackson, singer/songwriter/dancer/
whack job/pedophile/corpse.