Overheard on CNN:

Rick Santorum

“The First Amendment absolutely guarantees companies the right to not follow laws that are against their religion, including that Obamacare mandate that large companies provide women with coverage for BIRTH CONTROL, which many religions, INCLUDING MY OWN, do not condone. Women are supposed to get pregnant every time they have sex and keep having babies until their uteruses fall out. That's God's law.”

 

Rick Santorum, America's favorite Roman Catholic, homophobe and racist. Santorum is a highly probable 2016 Republican candidate for president.

 

 

  

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Howard Dean

  

“Why does God not set you on fire when you say shit like that? Oh wait. Maybe he doesn’t listen to you either.”

Howard Dean, physician, former governor of Vermont, presidential candidate and chair of the Democratic National Committee, now a liberal pundit.

Overheard on CNN:

Howard Dean

"Wouldn't it be nice if after five years of obstructionism toward Obamacare by every member of the Republican Party, we could make it work, because a lot of people stand to benefit from it. And I really hated the way Obamacare launched, so I'm not just saying shit to make points. Oh, and Rick Santorum is a shithead fucktard who would lie to his mother to get one inch ahead. Oh and trust me folks, he only has one inch."

Howard Dean, former governor of Vermont, presidential candidate and chair of the Democratic National Committee, now a liberal pundit

Overheard on CNN:

Howard Dean

"When I hear Rick Santorum mention 'competency,' my sphincter just opens wide up."

Howard Dean, former governor of Vermont, presidential candidate and chair of the Democratic National Committee, now a liberal pundit

Overheard on CNN:

Howard Dean

"Ted Cruz may be a good politician, but he is dumber than a box of rocks, stupider than a piece of toast, and doesn't know enough about health care to fill a thimble. Imbeciles should not be allowed to serve in public office."

Howard Dean, former governor of Vermont/liberal pundit

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Babe

"Excuse me, sir, but didn't you serve in public office? By saying imbeciles shouldn't not serve in public office, aren't you really saying that you never should have been in office."

Babe, the talking pig, former movie star and new conservative pundit/adviser to Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell's re-election campaign in Kentucky.

Howard Dean

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"And didn't the little pig learn not to interrupt a conversation unless it has an even bigger pig standing behind it?"

Howard Dean