Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

Theodore Roosevelt

"Someone needs to start walking the halls of the Capitol and just arbitrarily kicking the shit out of people. That's my solution to your present-day gridlock. If we had done what I advocated in 1914—sterilized the sick, unemployed, poor, criminals, prostitutes, and the disabled--I believe we wouldn't have the problems we have now in Congress. We certainly wouldn't have many of the same people in office. Bully, indeed!"

Theodore Roosevelt (R), 26th president of the United States.