Overheard in Washington, D.C.

Harry Reid

"Yes, the rumors are true: there is not a single member of Congress with even the slightest grasp on the reality America's citizens experience daily. On the other hand, you keep electing us. Think about this: you hear a lot about all the things Congress HASN'T done, or NEEDS to do, but when is the last time you actually heard of us DOING something?"

Harry Reid (D-Nevada), Majority Leader of the U.S. Senate, a man who historically never introduces legislation his favorite lobbyists don't request. His personal worth is estimated at somewhere between $3 and $10 million. Reed scowls a lot because his dear friend and coworker Mitch McConnell has a net worth FIVE TIMES that of Reid—who is no pauper.

Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

Theodore Roosevelt

"Someone needs to start walking the halls of the Capitol and just arbitrarily kicking the shit out of people. That's my solution to your present-day gridlock. If we had done what I advocated in 1914—sterilized the sick, unemployed, poor, criminals, prostitutes, and the disabled--I believe we wouldn't have the problems we have now in Congress. We certainly wouldn't have many of the same people in office. Bully, indeed!"

Theodore Roosevelt (R), 26th president of the United States.