“Whatever
happened to the good old days when boys, teenagers, and adult men could all be
naked together and shower without feeling self-conscious about their bodies?
Oh to be naked in the YMCA shower room, surrounded by a room full of
sweaty boys, teens, and men, all getting wet together, helping each other get
all soaped up, rinsing, and then toweling each other off, helping each other to
reach those difficult to reach places… Such fond memories I have of extensive
male nudity… And I am here to tell you why it all went away, dammit! The
damn liberals and abortion rights supporters made all of that go away.
Now grown men can’t shower with younger males anymore! And younger males don’t
want to have to put their bodies on display for each other when they
shower after a workout! Everyone has turned modest! Take me back to the time when men were men and hung out
naked in shower rooms, singing songs by the Village People… That’s when this
country was great. ”
Rick
Santorum,
speaking at a meeting of the anti-abortion group Students for Life of America
last month in Austin, Texas. Santorum and his wife, Karen, were presented with
the organization’s 2013 William Wilberforce Leadership Award.
- - -
“Dude, you want to shower with boys and
teens? And you long for days when you could put your body on display for a room
full of other males to see? You realize that makes you sound pretty gay,
right?”
Butthead
- - -
“Heh,
heh… he said he likes to looks at dicks—young, old, big, little… he doesn’t
care. He just wants it up close and personal. He likes to rub soap on other
guys' dicks! Yep. he’s definitely a fudge packer.”
Beavis
- - -
“Shut up, Beavis. Uhm… Mr. Fudge Packer? When you used to walk around naked in front of rooms full of sweaty men, did
they tip you? Did you give them lap dances or anything like that? Or was it just blow jobs? Are you an ass pirate?”
Butthead
- - -
"Am I an ass pirate?
ME? How could you tell?"
Rick Santorum
- - -
“Heh,
heh… You said ass pirate. I'll bet he knows The Great Cornholio! Heh, heh.”
Beavis
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