Overheard Outside the Supreme Court:

Antonin Scalia

“Birth control pills are for pussies. Oh shut up. You know what I mean.”

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia

Overheard at the Supreme Court:

Antonin Scalia

“Four states in three months advance the right to gay marriage—all citing what I wrote in my DISSENTING opinion against striking down the federal Defense of Marriage Act! How the hell did I fuck this one up?”

Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonin Scalia, known for his outspoken ultraconservative views

Overheard at the Supreme Court:

Antonin Scalia

“Why … these anti-abortion protestors that want to stand right in front of the doors of abortion clinics only want to offer gentle counseling and life-affirming suggestions to women about to get abortions. You can’t have a 35-foot buffer zone that infringes on their right to free speech! That’s outrageous!”

 

Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonin Scalia, a Roman Catholic who has nine children. Or more. Who’s counting?

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Miss Piggy

“How did such a racist, bigoted, women-hating, ignorant, troll-faced, small-minded, misogynistic, lying, slime-sucking, chicken-fucking, logic-bucking, reality-ducking imbecile EVER get appointed to the Supreme Court of the United States? What an affront to women everywhere!”

Miss Piggy, actress/women's rights advocate

Overheard at The Supreme Court:

Antonin Scalia

“Some of my friends tell me I look a lot like Diana Ross, you know. I think it is the same friends of mine who are gay, but won’t tell me they are gay. Those gays ... they know all about Diana Ross, so they must be right.”

Antonin Scalia, member of The Supremes…. er, The Supreme Court

Overheard on Antonin Scalia's Cellphone:

Antonin Scalia

“Of course the devil is a real person. Didn’t you read the gospels? He’s all over them making pigs run off cliffs, possessing people, and other carrying on. He doesn’t come around much any more though. I don’t know why that is. I guess he's busy elsewhere.”

Antonin Scalia, Supreme Court Justice