Overheard on Fox:

Paul Ryan

“Goddammit! I never said I didn’t like niggers! I only said they were lazy and liked to collect welfare! GEEZ!”

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin), presently taking significant heat for some rather racist comments he made regarding inner city blacks and what he alleges is their addiction to the social services available in the United States

Overheard on Rep. Paul Ryan's Cellphone:

Paul Ryan

“I think we need to study how to turn inner city homeless welfare recipients into a green energy fuel. I think that's called multi-tasking, bitches.”

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Minnesota)

Overheard on Conservative Talk Radio:

Paul Ryan

“The cycle of poverty and welfare checks, food stamp queens and Medicaid? It’s all the fault of lazy men living our inner cities.* That’s where it all started. Get a job, motherfuckers.”

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Minnesota)

“(Yeah, he really did say it.)

Overheard on Conservative Talk Radio:

Paul Ryan

“I’m very sorry that the story I told last week about poor kids on free lunches suffering from brown bag envy was a complete fabrication … and not my own fabrication, either. I stole it from another dumb ass Republican in Wisconsin. But what I think what is really important here is the deeper message: Republicans, in general, just don’t give a shit about the nutritional needs of your children. If they go to school or bed hungry, it’s just not our problem, so quit your whining.”

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin)

Overheard at CPAC:

Paul Ryan

“The poor children in America don’t want free lunches! They want parents who are wealthy enough to pack really cool lunches in brown paper sacks! They want parents who care about them!”

Rep. Paul Ryan, (R-Wisconsin), speaking at the annual convention of Conservative Political Action Committees, which always attracts the nation’s best and brightest