Overheard at the Firing Range:

Wayne LaPierre

"Shooting puppies with armor piercing bullets is a helluva lot more fun than you might think. Muaha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! POW! BAM! 'How much is that doggie in the window?' 'Well, he’s on special today!' POW! 'Ten cents a PIECE.'
Get it? Ten cents PER piece! HA-HA-HA”

Wayne LaPierre, who earns $1.3 million a year as chief executive officer of the National Rifle Association.

Overheard in Texas:

Wayne LaPierre

"Yes, it's true. We did have a vendor selling an Obama mannequin on sale at our NRA convention. It was a zombie thing that bleeds when you shoot at it. We did ask the vendor to take it down, though. It looked a bit too much like Obama, to be honest. People kept walking past and they'd laugh so hard, they'd piss themselves. Made a helluva mess and created an insurance risk. We couldn't have that."

Wayne LaPierre, who earns $1.3 million a year as chief executive officer of the National Rifle Association.

Overheard in Texas:

Sarah Palin

"Blah blah blah, save our guns! Blah blah blah, rise up and fight to save our guns! Blah blah blah, reload our weapons! And by the way, the late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was my hero."

Sarah Palin, former small town mayor, former half-term governor of Alaska, former vice presidential candidate, former reality show star, former Fox News commentator, and former former. She is presently employed as the idiot for a small village in Alaska. Her net worth is $12 million.

You Know Who

- - -

"Uhmmmm, Senora Palin? You do know that Thatcher was a strong, fierce advocate for gun control, right?"

Sarah Palin

You Know Who, the talking chihuahua

- - -

"What? Of course she was not. She was the iron lady. And guns are made of what? Iron. I rest my case."

Sarah Palin

You Know Who

- - -

"Sarah, it's true.  Thatcher was an advocate of legislation in the
United Kingdom that outlawed semi-automatic weapons and a bunch of other things your friends in the NRA really oppose.
So..... is she still your hero?"

You Know Who, the talking chihuahua

Sarah Palin

- - -

"OK. You must be part of the Lamestream Media. Why do I care about this? And why is it a goddam dog is telling me about it and not my handlers?"

Sarah Palin

You Know Who

- - -

"Maybe they didn't know. I just thought you would want to know before you stuck your boot any further into your mouth, is all. I'm

just trying to help. Want a taco? From Taco Bell, of course."

You Know Who, the talking chihuahua

Sarah Palin

- - -

"NO I DON"T WANT A TACO. Supporting tacos is like supporting immigration reform.  That's true—it is from the bible. I'd rather be caught being nice to a gay or a lesbian."

Sarah Palin

Overheard in Texas:

Rob Pincus

"Here's a good idea. Keep your extra guns in your kids' bedrooms so if someone breaks in, they will be able to protect themselves."

Gun safety advocate and firearms instructor Rob Pincus, speaking at last week's NRA members' meeting.

Overheard in Texas:

Wayne LaPierre

"Why, if the people running in the Boston Marathon, that bomb would not have gone off. And if it had, everyone with a gun would have shot one another and surely, goddamit, one of those bullets would have killed the terrorists. See? More guns mean more safety! So get out there and buy some guns. And don't forget the ammo!"

Wayne LaPierre, speaking at this week's NRA members meeting.

Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

Wayne LaPierre

"Since 1990, the NRA has given nearly $1 million to 40 of the 43 senators who torpedoed those gun control measures in the Senate this week. That's all? Just a million? I'm surprised we got off that cheap! Not only are these guys whores, but they are CHEAP whores. Wait... you didn't hear me say that, did you?"

Wayne LaPierrre, who earns $1.3 million a year as chief executive officer of the National Rifle Association.