 |
| Elliott Spritzer |
“I
am sorry and I want another chance. I won’t ever touch a prostitute again. I won't even touch myself! I
promise, America. You can trust me to do the right thing.”
Elliot
Spitzer, former New York governor and now candidate for New York City
comptroller, who is attempting to return to public service following his ouster
over his use of prostitutes. Among the challengers he will face is his former
madam, Kristin Davis, who is a third party candidate for the same office. For
Davis, Spitzer was “Client Number 9.”
- - -
 |
| Mark Weiner |
“I
am sorry and I want another chance. I won’t ever even touch myself again either and I
won’t send out any photos of my erection to anyone. I promise, America.”
Mark
Weiner, former U.S. Congressman, who resigned after it was revealed he had
sexted photos of his clothed erection to a number of women. Weiner is now
running for the office of mayor of New York City.
 |
| Mark Sanford |
- - -
“I
am sorry and I want another chance. I won’t ever even touch myself again and I
won’t have any affairs, or run off to South America—none of it. I promise
America and you can trust me to do the right thing, including not touching myself.”
Rep. Mark Sanford (R-South Carolina)
- - -
 |
| John F. Kennedy |
“I
am sorry and I want another chance…. wait a minute… I’m dead. I can’t have
another chance. Never mind.”
Former President John F. Kennedy
- - -
 |
| Bill Clinton |
“America
just has no idea. It really doesn’t. And I have no plans to stop touching myself, either. Hey, JFK! If you were alive and here, I'd say let's go get laid! Was Marilyn really as good as they say?”
Former President Bill
Clinton
|
| John F. Kennedy |
- - -
"Bill, this time, YOU have no idea."
JFK
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