 | |
| Vladimir Putin |
“Mr. Edward Spyboy Snowden is now under the
protection of the Russian nation. We have given him a one-year temporary asylum
while we consider his application for permanent status. I know African warrior
President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Johnny Horseyface Kerry will be very
upset by our ‘provocative’ action, but Russian people don’t give a fuck. We
don’t. We don't even want him. He is a whiny pain in the ass bitch. We take him only to piss you off. But don’t be concerned or worried if you never hear of Mr. Spyboy
again. That happens here in Russia sometimes. People just disappear.”
Russian President Vladimir Putin
 |
| John Kerry |
- - -
"We are very disappointed in your behavior. I even offered you some of Heinz's 57 varieties and Tater Tots. You are a hard man to bargain with."
Secretary of State John "Horseyface" Kerry
 |
| Barack Obama |
- - -
"Uhmmm, well, just for that, I may not visit in September! There! What do you think of that?"
President Barack Obama
- - -
| |
| Vladimir Putin |
"Deprive me of your charming company African Warrior President? Nyet. I don't think so. You would lose opportunity to show world what big man you are. Nyet, you will show up, and you will smile for the cameras, all the while knowing I have pissed all over your American flag."
|
| Barack Obama |
President Putin
- - -
"Eat shit."
President Obama
| |
| Vladimir Putin |
- - -
"Such coarse talk from such a pretty-faced man. Bah. I am Russian. I eat shit every day and wash it down with vodka. Now leave me alone."
President Putin
