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| Kim Jong-un |
"I am an insane, impulsive 26-year-old boy with my
finger on the red button! Everyone is paying attention to me and I like it! I get to write things using multiple exclamation points!!! What would you have done if you had this much power when
you were 26? When you were insane and still felt immortal? When you were
impulsive and uncontrollable? Makes you kind of nervous, doesn't it? Grrrrrr!"
L'il Kim Jong-un, leader of North Korea
 |
| President Obama |
- - -
"Kimmy? President Obama here. It's time to settle down now.
You are just acing out, marking your territory, and letting us all know you are
ready to sit at the grown-up table. We get that. But you are really upsetting a lot of people—you even made Dick Cheney say 'doo-doo'—and if you keep pushing things,
we're going to have to give you a wedgie, so to speak. Do you want a United States-sized wedgie?"
President Barack Obama (D-Illinois), 44th president of the U.S.
- - -
|
| Kim Jong-un |
"NO! NO WEDGIE FOR NORTH KOREA! Grrrrrrr! We are nation of
mighty warriors! We have missiles that can almost reach you! Be very afraid,
white boy."
L'il Kim Jong-un
- - -
|
| President Obama |
"White boy? OK, if you say so. But I'm not kidding.
Take a nap or something. Settle down. This isn't doing anyone any good. Listen
to some happy music. Eat some chocolate. Something."
President Barack Obama |
| Kim Jong-un |
- - -
"We have no happy music in North Korea, white boy. We
have warrior music! MEAN warrior music! Grrrrrrr! You be ready. North Korea is
coming!"
L'il Kim Jong-un
|
| President Obama |
- - -
"OK, Kimmy. We'll talk again soon."
President Barack Obama
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