Overheard off Sesame Street:

Kermit the Frog

"Three women kidnapped and held captive in a Cleveland home, Big Bird! For ten years! The men who took them kept them in chains! In the basement! And there may have been kids born. I just can't understand these stupid fucking humans."

Kermit the Frog

- - -

"It is a terrible tragedy, Kermie. I hope those ladies and that little girl are able to heal. How could such a thing ever be explained? What kind of sick twisted mind comes up with this kind of stuff?"

Big Bird

- - -

Kermit the Frog

"I know where. It's that goddam Elmo. He has a cult, you know. I don't know how it operates, but I know it is big and he is behind it. He probably had those women in chains, making Elmo sock puppets to sell. Probably has basements full of them all over the country!"

Kermit the Frog

- - -

"Do you really think so, Kermit?"

Big Bird

- - -

Kermit the Frog

 "He is a dangerous sociopath, Big Bird. Why do you think he walks around singing, 'Helter Skelter' between takes on our show? He's like a felt Charles Manson! He is one sick little bastard. The public has no idea!"

Kermit the Frog