 |
| John Boehner |
"Jesus!"
House Majority Leader John Boehner
- - -
 |
| Jesus Christ |
"Johnny
Boner! Long time since WE talked. You don't call, you don't write, I never see you down at the temple..."
Jesus Christ, son of God
|
| John Boehner |
- - -
"Oh, I wasn't really calling for you, just taking your name in vain. But since you're here, you're not going to believe what we fucking did today."
John Boehner
|
| Jesus Christ |
- - -
Jesus Christ
- - -
|
| John Boehner |
"Well, let me tell you anyway. We Republicans tacked on an
amendment to the farm bill that would have required food stamp recipients to
take drug tests in order to get enough to eat. Never mind that more than half
of the food stamp program goes to help the working poor. Fuck the working poor. They just
need to work more hours at McDonald's and steal some McCookies. Anyway... we had this amendment that we
Republicans put on the bill... and then today, when it came up for vote, WE
VOTED AGAINST THE BILL because of that very same amendment. Pretty fucking
clever strategy, don't you think?"
John Boehner
- - -
|
| Jesus Christ |
"You think that was clever? No. Comparatively speaking, wiping your
ass is clever. Picking your nose in a crowded theater without being caught is
clever. Brushing your teeth while tap dancing is clever. What YOU boys did was
a crime. I keep hoping the citizens will rise up and crucify you bastards, but
for some reason the same poor folks who need government programs like food
stamps keep voting for you. And Johnny, when I say crucify, I'm not speaking
euphemistically. Verily, verily I say unto you, feed the goddam poor and stop
being the party of assholes. And get that damn drug test thing out of the
legislation. What are you going to do? Refuse to feed the child of a drug
addict because Mom smokes pot? Assholes. Father is embarrassed that you are
made in his image and yet still found some way to be such a bunch of
insufferable pricks."
Jesus Christ
|
| John Boehner |
- - -
"That's
easy for you to say, Mr. King of the Jews. You were able to feed the multitudes
with three fishes and a bottle of wine. It costs a little more than that these
days."
John Boehner
- - -
|
| Jesus Christ |
"Stop being so tiresome or I'll point my finger at you and give you herpes. And if you don't believe I can do it, ask Mitch McConnell. I
didn't say it was going to be easy, Johnny, but you're a bright boy when you put your
mind to it. I'm saying put your mind to it. Stop dancing around with your thumb
up your ass and figure it out. Don't make me take the decision out of your
hands, Johnny."
Jesus Christ
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