 |
| Lindsey Graham |
“Johnny,
you’ve got to stop working yourself into a lather over Ted Cruz! I’m afraid for you, sweetie! If you don’t find a way to get a grip, you’re going to have a
stroke!”
Sen.
Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina)
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“I
know, Linds. But every time that man opens his mouth, I want to fill that vile
cavern with wet cement.”
Sen.
John McCain (R-Arizona)
- - -
|
| Lindsey Graham |
“I
know, hon. But listen, if there is going to be any lathering or gripping or stroking
where you’re concerned, I want to be
the one responsible!”
Sen.
Graham
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“The
willies! Linds! There you go again giving me the willies!”
Sen.
McCain
- - -
|
| Lindsey Graham |
“Oh,
Johnny, you like to pretend, but it’s just like the night we were at Teatro
Alaska in the Copacabana neighborhood of Rio during Carnivale! Teatro Alaska doesn’t
exist any more, you know—it has been turned into an evangelical church! But
come on, you remember ... we were watching that male strip show … what was it
called? …”
Sen.
Graham
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“‘The
Noite dos Leopardos’, if I recall correctly—though I, of course, don’t know how
I know that.”
Sen.
McCain
- - -
|
| Lindsey Graham |
“‘The
Noite dos Leopardos’! That’s it. There we were, alone in the corner, just
trying to pleasure ourselves while watching those little Brazilian boys showing
off their treasures, when that 525-pound bull dyke from Boston comes over to
the table and says, ‘I know you two ladies! I met you here two years ago and
you told me I looked like a small planet on steroids’ and then ran out the door!’
Then she grabbed me by the neck and started squeezing! Well, I didn’t know what she was squawking about. I‘d
never seen her fat ass before and I never talk to bull dykes because they scare
me.”
Sen.
Graham
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“Lindsey,
everything scares you, and I’ve never been to any Copalacanna anywhere in this
whole world.”
Sen.
McCain
- - -
|
| Lindsey Graham |
“Sure
John. So while she’s choking me—HA! Never
heard of a dyke choking a chicken? I have! I’ve seen it! I’ve been it!—you
stuck your Johnson back in your pants and sprung into action! Using just a
paper doily, an empty martini glass and two large walnuts, you somehow removed
her gallbladder, cut her hair and improved her personality! You are my little
miracle worker!”
Sen.
Graham
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“You
know, I don’t remember any of this stuff happening, Lindsey.”
Sen.
McCain
- - -
|
| Lindsey Graham |
“It's the blackouts, Johnny. You've gotta cut down on the drinking! But that’s why you have me around. To
help you remember the good times.”
Sen. Graham
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