Overheard on Fox:

Ann Coulter

"If you are an immigrant and get welfare assistance, go the hell home. We don't want you. God I LOVE to spread HATE! It makes me tingle. It is about the only thing that does."

Ann Coulter, America's favorite transsexual, author, and pundit, speaking on Fox.

Overheard on Fox:

Bob Beckel

"Get rid of Muslim students in this God fearing country of ours."

Bob Beckel, Fox commentator

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Greeg Kilmeade

"We need to plant microphones in the mosques and do MORE racial profiling of Muslims."

Brian Kilmeade, Fox host.

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Ann Coulter

"I just plain hate everyone who isn't white, blond, and transsexual like me, but especially if they are Muslim transsexuals."

Ann Coulter, America's favorite transsexual, author, and pundit, speaking on Fox.

Bill O'Reilly

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"Don't tell me the Boston bombers don't represent all Muslims! Shut up. This is my show! Don't step on my faulty premise!"

Bill O'Reilly, author, and host of  The O'Reilly Factor on Fox. O'Reilly earns $10 million a year for his TV duties and has an estimated net worth of $50 million.

Jesus Christ

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"Ya know what? Muslim does not equal terrorist, or crazy, or radical, or any one of a hundred things you could come up with. I know Mohammed. He's a righteous dude—a good friend of mine. We talk often. We are in the same business—trying to keep you humans from killing each other. Cut this shit out now or I'll be the one handing out crosses. Especially you, O'Reilly. You're actually intelligent. You have no damn excuse."

Jesus Christ, son of God

Overheard in New York City:

Rupert Murdoch

"Bad reporting? Erroneous material? Falsehoods? Distortions? A mockery of journalism? Me? Apologize? Rupert Murdoch does not apologize because he is never wrong."

Rupert Murdoch, chairman of News Corp., owner of various media operations in the United States, United Kingdom, and Australia, including our beloved Fox News. Murdoch took great heat this week for the New York Post's shoddy, high school newspaper grade coverage of the Boston Marathon bombing.

Overheard on Fox:

Bill O'Reilly

"Yes, there are bigger cocksuckers than me in the universe. They, however, do not have their own television show or the uncanny ability to talk out of both sides of their face. That, my friends, takes YEARS of practice and is why I devote at least three hours a day to counting my money." 

Bill O'Reilly, author, and host of

The O'Reilly Factor on Fox.