Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

Rick Santorum

"Do you think I would lose my standing with my  Conservative base if they found our how much time I spent wearing women's clothing? Nah. They are a pretty tolerant bunch."

Rick Santorum, America's favorite Roman Catholic and founding member of the National He-Man Homo-Haters Club, whose personal net worth is estimated at  between $500,000 and $2.6 million.

Lindsey Graham

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"It has never hurt me any, Ricky."

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina), renowned lesbian lawmaker with a net worth of somewhere between $600,000 and $1.3 million.

Mitch McConnell

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"I look rather good in gingham."

 

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky), whose personal fortune is estimated at $50 million. McConnell is known to smile only when draining the life force from young children and the elderly—preferably both at the same time