Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

President Obama

"Goahead! I fucking DARE you to filibuster three judicial nominees at one time. Go ahead! Show the whole damn world just what a bunch of miserable swollen testicles you really are."

President Barack Obama

Sen. McConnell

- - -

"Are your testicles swollen, Mr. President? You know, I don't think I needed to know that. How about you, Mr. Speaker?"

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky), whose personal fortune is estimated at $50 million.

Rep. Boehner

- - -

"Frankly, Mitch, I didn't think things that don't exist COULD swell, but I'm not a medical doctor."

Speaker of the House John Boehner, whose personal fortune is estimated at between $1.7 and $5.5 million.

Sen. McConnell

- - -

"Oh, he has them. Unfortunately, Michelle's are bigger."
Sen. McConnell

- - -

President Obama

 

"Dammit, McConnell! I have told you before, leave the First Lady out of this or I'm really going to kick your ass!"

  President Obama

Sen. McConnell

   

- - -

"Oh, I'd never leave her out of anything, Mr. President. That'd be discrimination and sexism, and then you'd be calling me a racist because I didn't compliment Michelle on the size of her balls, particularly in comparison with yours. And then you'd have HER kick my ass. With her giant balls."

President Obama

Sen. McConnell

- - -

 

"You know McConnell: You make me wish
I owned an automatic weapon."

President Obama

- - -

Sen. McConnell

"A lot of men with small penises do wish that Mr. President, but that is between you and your wife; you know, the woman with the giant nut sack."
Sen. McConnell

President Obama

- - -

 

"SHE DOES NOT HAVE A GIANT NUT SACK!"

President Obama

Sen. McConnell

- - -

"Well, she has to! How the hell else would she carry around those giant balls of hers?"
Sen. McConnell

President Obama

- - -

 

"Well, she could use your fucking mouth, McConnell."

President Obama

- - -

Sen. McConnell

Touche, Mr. President! Touche! So you admit she has these giant balls. But there is just one fatal flaw with that suggestion. If Michelle put her balls in my mouth, that'd make HER a TEABAGGER, like a member of that fringe Republican group you loathe. How could you say such a thing about your own WIFE! Shame on you, Mr. President. Wait until the American people hear about this!"
Sen. McConnell

Rep. Boehner

- - -

"Fuck the American people. Wait'll Michelle hears this! She'll beat him about the face and shoulders with those giant balls of hers. Mr. President, you really need to learn when to quit."

Rep. Boehner