Overheard in The Senate:

Lindsey Graham

"Oh, PUSSYFEATHERS! If John McCain hadn't made mt back from Syria, I had dibs on his office. It's such a pretty place, with a view that's TO. DIE. FOR. He has a LOVELY indigo carpet with matching drapes. HA! The carpet matches the drapes! That joke goes out to all my carpet munching girlfriends! Love you! Anyway, the luckiest sonuvabitch in the world came back! AGAIN! Dammit!"

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina), America's favorite hermaphrodite lawmaker, who has a net worth of somewhere between $600,000 and $1.3 million.