Overheard in the Senate:

Harry Reid

“WE DEMOCRATS WON!”

Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nevada), speaking after the Senate averted consideration of the so-called “nuclear option” to end the GOP’s filibuster of President Obama’s nominees

Mitch McConnell

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“WE REPUBLICANS WON!”

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky), speaking after the Senate averted consideration of the so-called “nuclear option” to end the GOP’s filibuster of President Obama’s nominees

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John 'Blood and Guts' McCain

“You both won shit. Keep your mouth shut, McConnell, before I staple it shut for you. The same goes for you, Reid. The two of you and the dick-measuring contest--the so-called the nuclear option'--nearly altered the Senate forever and once again, I had to step in and settle the churning waters. I am getting too old for this shit, especially when it happens every other week. The next one who gets into a confrontational situation better hire a night watchman at their home because I will be visiting and while there, I will be removing one or more vital organs using only dental floss, a golf ball and a potato masher. it’s a neat trick. I will let you pick the organ you don’t want, of course. Shitheads. And for the record, I win the measuring contest by a wide margin!”

Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona)