 |
| John McCain |
“Mr.
President! Mr. President!”
Sen.
John
‘Blood and Guts’ McCain (R-Arizona)
 |
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“Hey there, Sen. McCain! How goes it?
President Barack Obama
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“It
goes terrible and you know it.”
Sen.
McCain
 |
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“What calamity are you speaking of?”
President Obama
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“SYRIA,
DAMMIT, SYRIA!
We can’t allow Bashaad al Azaar to keep killing his citizens. We have to do
something decisive, harsh, over-the-top, hardass, and if I have my way, bloody,
or we will lose what little credibility we have left on the international
stage.”
Sen.
McCain
|
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“Look. We are not going to go into this
without a clear plan and strategy. We need to take our time; take a few deep
breaths. We are not going to step into another long, protracted military
action. The American people do not support it, and I will not be responsible
for the same type of mistakes we have made in the past. You are just going to
have to simmer down and wait.”
President Obama
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“WAIT?
When innocents are being slaughtered? That is not the ‘Blood and Guts’ way!
When shit goes down, old ‘Blood and Guts’ McCain springs into action, not
reflection. Mr. President, I gotta ask: When exactly did you grow a vagina?
Have you started menstruating? This is a time for real men, and if you can’t
get the job done, get the hell out of the way and let Hillary Clinton step in
for you.”
Sen.
McCain
|
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“John, my dear friend. Chill. If you keep raving like
this you are going to have a stroke.”
President Obama
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“Well,
if you’re not going to do something, and now the fucking Brits aren't going to do something, I am. I’ll parachute down behind enemy
lines and take out the entire Syrian army myself—I’ll use every weapon I have,
including my collection of deadly can openers and poisoned tampons. Sometimes real men have to step
up to the plate, President Obama, and sometimes they have to clean their
plates. And now, I am outta here.”
Sen.
McCain
|
| Barack Obama |
- - -
“Sen. McCain—WAIT! Don’t go! Don’t
start anything we literally cannot afford to finish!”
President Obama
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