 |
| Jesus Christ |
“Franny!
I think that was so wonderful of you to call and offer comfort to that rape
victim in Argentina, Alejandra Pereyra! You really helped her a lot.”
Jesus
Christ,
son of God
.jpg) |
| Pope Francis I |
- - -
“It was a terrible thing to be raped at
gunpoint by a police officer. I just wanted her to start her journey to being
healthy.”
Pope Francis I
- - -
|
| Jesus Christ |
“It
is such a wonderful idea, I want you to call up each and every survivor of rape
at the hands of a Catholic priest up and offer the same comfort to them. So
let’s get busy pressing those numbers, Franny. You have a lot of work to do.”
Jesus
Christ
 |
| Pope Francis I |
- - -
“ALL OF THEM? But, Jesus, we don’t even
know how many there are!”
Pope Francis I
|
| Jesus Christ |
- - -
“Franny…
I’m Jesus Fucking Christ. I know who all of the victims are. I have a list for
you.”
Jesus
Christ
|
| Pope Francis I |
- - -
“OH MY GOD! Did we really do this to all of these children? This is going to take me
forever! There must be a million pages of names and phone numbers! Jesus,
Jesus!”
Pope Francis I
- - -
|
| Jesus Christ |
“Well
then. Isn’t it good that you have everlasting life! I will make it possible for
you to keep calling—even after you die! Isn’t that great? And by the way, these are only the names of survivors who are STILL ALIVE. I didn't include all all of the ones who are dead. I don't know if I want to be responsible for the death of THAT many trees! It is a staggering number of children Franny and you are all lucky that Father has not hit everyone of you with a lightning bolt or turned you into salt. Be ashamed. Be very ashamed.”
Jesus
Christ
|
| Pope Francis I |
- - -
“I don’t think I want eternal life
anymore. Not if I have to make all of these phone calls.”
Pope Francis I
- - -
 " |
| Jesus Christ |
"Listen up, pontiff. You
just reach out and touch someone—someone from that list of course, Franny. And
don’t touch them in the way you might like to; touch them with your kindness
and love. Apologize, you jackass.”
Jesus
Christ
|
| Pope Francis I |
- - -
“But if I call them, it will be the
same thing as admitting we did something wrong! It would be like confessing!”
Pope Francis I
|
| Jesus Christ |
- - -
“And
that is a problem why? You Catholics LOVE confession! So, you get to do
a lot of it. Verily, verily I say on to you: Start dialing, shithead.”
Jesus
Christ
Fun Pope Francis I fact: The pope actually isn't a Catholic at all. He is Jewish.
Only a few people know the truth, so mum's the word.
Only a few people know the truth, so mum's the word.
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