Overheard EVERYWHERE:

Ted Cruz

“I do not like green eggs and ham, and Obamacare can’t make me eat them, Sam I Am.”

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas)

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Joe Scarborough

“Sen. Cruz’s narcissism is pretty uninspiring. He gives insipid morons a bad name.”

Joe Scarborough, token conservative host on MSNBC

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Ted Cruz

“I do not like them here or there, I do not like them in my underwear.”

Sen. Cruz 

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Rachel Maddow

“This is a spectacle beyond any I’ve witnessed, that I swear.”

Rachel Maddow, MSNBC host

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Ted Cruz

“I do not like them on a plane. I do not like to pull a train.”

Sen. Cruz

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Brit Hume

“I think Ted Cruz is one of the most stupid men in America. His two-dollar version of braggadocio backed him into a corner and now he has to filibuster the bill to avoid looking like  a stupid bitch. Ted: all your talk is such a drain, it is too bad parasites ate your brain.”

Brit Hume, conservative pundit

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Ted Cruz

“I do not like green hags and yams. I do not like them, Sam I Am. So take these fucking hags and spam, and scram away dear Sam I Am before I grind you in a fan.”

Sen. Cruz

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Charles Krauthammer

“C’mon, people! Ted Cruz saw what Rand Paul did with a filibuster and is trying to do the same thing, except he cannot possibly get what he wants and everyone seems to realize that except him. When Cruz fails, which he will, he will have only damaged the GOP brand.”

Charles Krauthammer, conservative pundit

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Ted Cruz

“I do not like Green Eggs and Spam, so…. Shut the fuck up, dear Sam I Am.”

Sen. Cruz

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Mitch McConnell

“What is really fucking stupid about this whole debacle is that EVEN if the government shuts down, Obamacare would still not be defunded. Eighty-five percent of the expenditures related to that program are labeled as ‘essential services,’ so even if the government shuts down, Obamacare would still move forward. So, Sen. Cruz, you can shove your Green Eggs and Ham, as well as Sam I Am, right up your giant Texas-sized can.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell

Ted Cruz

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“Fuck me! Fuck me! Sam I Am! I promised to do this till I couldn’t stand, but I’ve got to piss to beat the band!”

Sen. Cruz

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Harry Reid

“Uhmmmm… Ted? It is noon now and we agreed that you would shut the fuck up at noon. You’ve had your fun. BUT, if you would like to just keep talking, we are going to take a procedural vote on this at 1 p.m. And no, Harry Reid, does not rhyme, even when it's a Dr. Seuss knockoff.”

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid

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Ted Cruz

“Thank you much, Sen. Reid, but no, I wish to abide by our agreement. Plus I have to be somewhere at 1 p.m. I am appearing on the  Rush Limbaugh show today.”

Sen. Cruz