 |
| Ted Cruz |
“I
do not like green eggs and ham, and Obamacare can’t make me eat them, Sam I Am.”
Sen.
Ted Cruz
(R-Texas)
- - -
 |
| Joe Scarborough |
“Sen. Cruz’s narcissism is pretty
uninspiring. He gives insipid morons a bad name.”
Joe Scarborough, token conservative
host on MSNBC
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“I
do not like them here or there, I do not like them in my underwear.”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
 |
| Rachel Maddow |
“This is a spectacle beyond any I’ve
witnessed, that I swear.”
Rachel Maddow, MSNBC host
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“I
do not like them on a plane. I do not like to pull a train.”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
 |
| Brit Hume |
“I think Ted Cruz is one of the most
stupid men in America. His two-dollar version of braggadocio backed him into a
corner and now he has to filibuster the bill to avoid looking like a
stupid bitch. Ted: all your talk is such a drain, it is too bad parasites ate
your brain.”
Brit Hume, conservative pundit
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“I
do not like green hags and yams. I do not like them, Sam I Am. So take these
fucking hags and spam, and scram away dear Sam I Am before I grind you in a
fan.”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
 |
| Charles Krauthammer |
“C’mon, people! Ted Cruz saw what Rand
Paul did with a filibuster and is trying to do the same thing, except he cannot
possibly get what he wants and everyone seems to realize that except him. When
Cruz fails, which he will, he will have only damaged the GOP brand.”
Charles Krauthammer, conservative pundit
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“I
do not like Green Eggs and Spam, so…. Shut the fuck up, dear Sam I Am.”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
 |
| Mitch McConnell |
“What is really fucking stupid about
this whole debacle is that EVEN if the government shuts down, Obamacare would
still not be defunded. Eighty-five percent of the expenditures related to that
program are labeled as ‘essential services,’ so even if the government shuts
down, Obamacare would still move forward. So, Sen. Cruz, you can shove your
Green Eggs and Ham, as well as Sam I Am, right up your giant Texas-sized can.”
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell
|
| Ted Cruz |
- - -
“Fuck
me! Fuck me! Sam I Am! I promised to do this till I couldn’t stand, but I’ve
got to piss to beat the band!”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
 |
| Harry Reid |
“Uhmmmm… Ted? It is noon now and we
agreed that you would shut the fuck up at noon. You’ve had your fun. BUT, if
you would like to just keep talking, we are going to take a procedural vote on this at 1 p.m. And no, Harry Reid, does not rhyme, even when it's a Dr. Seuss knockoff.”
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“Thank
you much, Sen. Reid, but no, I wish to abide by our agreement. Plus I have to
be somewhere at 1 p.m. I am appearing on the Rush Limbaugh show today.”
Sen.
Cruz
