Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

Mitch McConnell

"I've been asked here today to make a public apology to Sen. Harry Reid and his wonderful wife. Yesterday, I suggested that his wife engages in sex with animals, and for that I am deeply sorry. From the bottom of my cold black heart, to the top of my balding head, I ask for her forgiveness..."

Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky), whose personal fortune is estimated at $50 million.

Mitch McConnell

"...I know perfectly well she doesn't have sex with animals...
She only has sex with vegetables. Like my good friend Sen. Reid.
Fuck YOU, Harry."
Sen. McConnell