 |
| John Kerry |
“Sen.
McCain … What the fuck? You are playing poker while I’m trying to make
the case for going into Syria and blowing everyone and everything up? What the
hell were you thinking?”
Secretary
of State John Kerry
- - -
“I
was thinking I would win a few bucks, but I lost. Goddammit! That hearing had
already been going on for more than three hours and I needed to check out
mentally for a bit. What is the big deal? It’s not as if I was sitting there
shoving puppies up my ass, picking my nose, or scratching my nuts. I can do one
of those things next time, If you’d like that better.”
Sen.
John McCain
|
| John Kerry |
- - -
“’Shoving
puppies up your ass’? Have you ever done that?”
Secretary
Kerry
- - -
“When
you are a POW, you have to do all sorts of sordid horrible things. Mr.
Secretary, that’s why you should just drop me off in Syria and let me clean
house. Let me take a team of vicious mercenaries with me and we will have
things straightened out in about 12.74 hours.”
Sen.
McCain
|
| John Kerry |
- - -
“Sen.
McCain, you are too big an asset for this country. We can’t let you take on
these dangerous missions any more. The sad truth is you are getting old.”
Secretary
Kerry
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“Old?
OLD? That only makes me meaner, Mr. Secretary. Discrimination of any
type is wrong. Why, your wife is bat shit fuck crazy and ugly to boot, but that
doesn’t disqualify her from being a woman, does it? You always sound as if you
are about to pass a kidney stone the size of Rhode Island through your very
narrow urethra, but that doesn’t keep you from talking, does it? I am John
‘Blood and Guts’ McCain. I can rip your intestines out using nothing more than
an empty yogurt cup, three raisins and a wooden clothespin! Now let me go over
there!”
Sen.
McCain
|
| John Kerry |
- - -
“Sen.
McCain. You need to get a grip. We are not letting you within 500 miles of
Syria.”
Secretary
Kerry
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“Then
I guess I’m on my own on this mission, with no tactical support and no incoming
ground force. So be it. If I go in alone, at least there will not be an open-ended war, because I will just wipe everyone out. Try not to look surprised when you see me on Syrian
television holding Assad’s intestines for everyone to see. Someone in this
government has to show some leadership and initiative, dammit!”
Sen.
McCain
No comments:
Post a Comment