 |
| John Boehner |
“Fucking
5 percent! That’s our approval rating! That means 87 percent of Americans think
we suck shit through a wire brush. Jesus, even Obama has a 43 percent approval
rating! Do you think we’ve somehow gotten this wrong? Do you think it is
possible that we are not doing what America wants? Is it possible that we are
going in the wrong direction?”
Speaker
of the House Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio)
 |
| Mitch McConnell |
- - -
“John, get a fucking grip! Go to your
private restroom and have a smoke or something!”
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky)
- - -
 |
| John Boehner |
“Sen.
McConnell, for the past six months, I have opened every sentence with, ‘The
American people don’t want…’ or ‘The American people want…’ and yet, the polls
say Americans don’t want the shit I’m shoveling. We’ve got to turn this around
somehow. None of this shit was supposed to happen this way.”
Speaker
Boehner
- - -
|
| Mitch McConnell |
“Well, don’t look at me. I was trying
to sabotage President Obama from the very first day he took office, way back
when you were still willing to lick his boots and engaging in compromise. Look
where compromise got you, Johnny Boner. It got you fucked up and possibly out
of job. Way to go, boy. You done good.”
Sen. McConnell
- - -
|
| John Boehner |
“That’s
a great pep talk, Sen. McConnell! But it is not just me. It’s all of us. Ted
Cruz isn’t helping our cause as he keeps the whack jobs wound up and ready to
pounce. That man has no idea of just how much fire he is playing with.
Dickhead.”
Speaker
Boehner
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“BOEHNER AND MCCONNELL! JUST THE TWO
SHITHEADS
I wanna see. It is time to open the government back up. It’s time to raise the
debt ceiling. It’s time to put America back on the path toward whatever fate
lies ahead. What you are doing is just a bunch of bullshit and I don’t know
what you fucking hope to accomplish.”
Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona)
|
| John Boehner |
- - -
“We
were just talking about that, Sen. McCain, and trying to figure out how to find
our way out of the wilderness in which we find ourselves.”
Speaker
Boehner
- - -
 |
| Lindsey Graham |
“I know just the thing! I will put on
my Pied Piper costume, get out my little flute, and I will start walking
through the halls of Congress. As the people come out of their offices, Sen.
McCain, you can hand them little mice costumes that they can put on. You know
how people are! No one can resist the Pied Piper when he blows his flute,
especially if they have a mouse costume on! And then…”
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina)
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“Will
you shut the hell up? I don’t want to hear another word about you blowing your
flute or me handing out mice costumes!
You’re giving me the willies again, Lindsey, and I don’t appreciate it. It’s
that type of scheming and bullshit that is destroying us. Why don’t
we try it my way? Boner, you put those 30 or so TEA Party
malcontents in one room and I’ll go through them like Michele Bachmann goes through
klonopin and this exercise in futility can come to an end. I’ll handle
the cleanup. There will be nothing left but a void.”
Sen.
McCain
- - -
|
| John Boehner |
“As much as I’d like to watch you blow
your flute, Sen. Graham, and as much as I’d love you to make the TEA party
conservatives into POWs, Sen. McCain, I have to deal with this mess on my own.
I started this so I’ve got to try and finish it without sounding any whinier
than I have been sounding already.”
Speaker Boehner
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“Fucking
mouse costumes… Do you even have a penis? And stop standing so goddam close to
me before I remove your spleen using only a cocktail fork, two toothpicks, and
a roll of dental floss”
Sen.
McCain
|
| Lindsey Graham |
- - -
“OH BOY! Sen. McCain’s going
to use his COCK TALE fork on me. I’ve waited YEARS for this. Tell me some COCK TALES, Johnny! Are these stories from your time in a POW camp! I JUST LOVE STORIES ABOUT PRISON
GUARDS!”
Sen. Graham
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