 |
| Mitch McConnell |
“Oh gee. The TEA Party Nation has withdrawn
its endorsement of me. Whatever shall I do? And it’s all because I said Ted
Cruz is a fucking moron and a real problem for the Republican Party? Like I was
the first person to ever utter that sentence.”
Sen. Mitch McConnell
- - -
 |
| Ted Cruz |
“I
am not a moron, McConnell. And the TEA Party should withdraw it’s endorsement.
I don’t know what you are, but it’s not a real conservative.”
Sen.
Ted Cruz
(R-Texas)
- - -
|
| Mitch McConnell |
“Sen. Cruz, I was making liberals cry
in their Wheaties back when your mother was still wiping your ass for you, though I suspect she still does on a lot of days. I
practically invented the modern conservative movement, so maybe you just want
to sit the fuck down and shut the hell up. There is a lot more to this game
than just sticking your tongue out and saying, “nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah,’ to the
opposition. As evidenced by your lack of a game plan on this whole government
shutdown thing, you don’t completely understand the political intricacies. And
you want to run for president in two years? Christ! I suspect you forget to put
on a pair of boxers most days, let alone be the leader of the free world! You
are a fart stain on the cloth of the Senate, Sen. Cruz.”
Sen. McConnell
|
| Ted Cruz |
- - -
“I
know you are, but what am I?”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
|
| Mitch McConnell |
“What?”
Sen. McConnell
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“Protect
the Second Amendment! Hot dogs are America’s gift to the world! Baseball!
Daniel Boone! Taxation Without Representation! Benjamin Franklin! Hula hoops!”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
|
| Mitch McConnell |
“Get the hell out of my office with
that shit.”
Sen. McConnell
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“Homemade
meatloaf! French fries! Stars and Stripes Forever! Mickey Mouse! America, the Beautiful!”
Sen.
Cruz
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