 |
| Sarah Palin |
“Of
course I never read Phil Robertson’s anti-gay comments before I came running to
his defense. Like I have time for READING! Look, I am TOTALLY in favor of free
speech … unless it is being used to defend gays and lesbians … or the speaker disagrees
with me … or questions my misinterpretation of the bible. And that’s really
what this is all about. Anyone who disagrees with Robertson is actually
disagreeing with the scripture and God.”
Sarah
Palin, author, former small town mayor and half-term governor of Alaska, former vice
presidential candidate, and Fox News
commentator.
- - -
 |
| Bill Maher |
“Oh,
please. Tell us, Sarah, just exactly what does Jesus say in the bible about
homosexuality? Come on, Sarah! Educate us! You have our completed and undivided attention.”
Bill
Maher, host of 'Real Time With Bill Maher' on HBO
- - -
|
| Sarah Palin |
“Uh …
Jesus says it is wrong for a man to place the schlong of another man into his
mouth because our bodies are a holy temple filled with the Holy Spirit and the Holy
Spirit doesn’t like the taste of penis. And the Holy Spirit doesn't swallow, either, dammit! That’s what Jesus says!”
Sarah
Palin
- - -
|
| Bill Maher |
“Sarah
… I think you are making that up. Are you going to tell me that your Holy
Spirit-filled body has never had Little Todd between your lips? On the tip of your tongue? Or maybe you've let
Little Todd come in through the back door once in a while?”
Bill
Maher
- - -
|
| Sarah Palin |
“Uhm
… You have some nerve suggesting that, Maher. And Jesus wasn’t speaking about what married men and women do, just what
fags and dykes do.”
Sarah
Palin
- - -
|
| Bill Maher |
“Sarah
… I think you are making shit up again because IT IS A FACT that Jesus never ONCE
mentions the idea of men fucking men, women sleeping with women, or even
combinations of the two involving two or more people anywhere in the New
Testament. Nowhere! JESUS NEVER MENTIONS
IT! And why is it that Jesus never mentions HOMOSEXUALITY? Because it’s NOT
FUCKING IMPORTANT, Sarah. Get over it. Now get your ass back up to Alaska
and spend some time with Little Todd. Do yourself a favor and contemplate the
state of the universe and the continued level of hate put forth by you
conservative bastards and just what impact it is having on our collective
American psyche while you slowly take Little Todd into your mouth because you LIKE IT and Big Todd REALLY likes it. We're humans and we have sex; that's what we do. If you believe God doesn’t
make mistakes and he made all of us, then those gays and lesbians he made, with their
desire to suck cock and lick vaginas, are not mistakes, nor are their bedroom
behaviors, which are in fact, none of your goddam business. None. Of. Your.
Goddam. Business.”
Bill
Maher
- - -
 |
| Jesus Christ |
“Bill
is correct, Sarah. I never mention homosexuality, or gay sex, or speak out
against it or anything. I love the gays. I think the things they do are
deliciously naughty and probably quite fun--not that I know anything about them, of course. (Nod, nod. Wink, wink. Know what I mean? Know what I mean?) You fundamentalist Christians are making it all up
in yet another attempt to drive a wedge between people and continue to spread
hate. You really are a horrible bunch, you know that, right?”
Jesus
Christ, son of God
- - -
|
| Sarah Palin |
“But
Jesus, how can you say—“
Sarah
Palin
- - -
|
| Bill Maher |
“You heard the imaginary Jesus, Sarah. Just
shut the fuck up. Oh, and Merry Fucking Christmas, to you and all of your retarded babies and pregnant teenage daughters.”
Bill
Maher
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