 |
| Lauren Green |
“Jesus
Christ was born on Christmas Day. It says so right in the Bible. It happened
right in the Bethlehem Macy’s, in the changing rooms where Mary was
buying a new frock.”
Lauren Green, Fox host
- - -
 |
| Jesus Christ |
“No,
actually I was born in the spring, Lauren. A whole bunch of holidays were
consolidated and Christmas was set as Dec. 25. How it happened is pretty
complicated, but basically, what you celebrate as my birthday was once the
pagan celebration of the Winter Solstice. And Macy’s is NOT mentioned in the
bible.”
Jesus Christ, son of God
- - -
|
| Lauren Green |
“Who asked you, Jesus? Don’t try to confuse things. That’s bullshit.”
Lauren
Green
- - -
|
| Jesus Christ |
“Wow.
Uppity bitch, aren’t you? OK, watch. As of this very moment, I wave my little
pinky and your entire spacious gorgeous home is filled from top to bottom with
100 percent pure horse shit. Truly, it is. And no, I don’t clean houses; I’m a
fucking carpenter. TTFN!”
Jesus
Christ
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