Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

'Crybaby' John Boehner

"Why would we want to raise the minimum wage? If we did, the working poor might be able to afford things. Like food. Like health care. Like clothing. Like rent. We can't have that. It is totally unacceptable to those of us with seven or eight figure incomes and gold-plated health insurance plans paid for by YOU the taxpayer. In fact, I believe if you knew what you are REALLY paying for, you'd overthrow Congress."

Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-Ohio), who has vowed to "cry for the poor people" at least once a day, but not do one damn thing on their behalf because he's "too busy."