Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

"Hell, I used to say 'fuck the immigrants' too—and my grandparents came here from Cuba!—but look how I've changed my tune on that. I am ambitreacherodextrous—I can be deceitful from either side of an issue."

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Florida), who delivered the GOP response to President Barack Obama's Feb. 12 State of the Union Adddress.