Sunday, May 5, 2013

Overheard at the Vatican:


Jesus Christ

"OK, Franny. You've finally opened your mouth and FINALLY said something about the sexual assault of children by priests in the Catholic Church. BRAVO. But... don't take your funny hat off yet. What you did was say you want the church to, "act decisively as far as cases of sexual abuse are concerned, promoting, above all, measures to protect minors, help for those who have suffered such violence in the past (and) the necessary procedures against those who are guilty.' Nice words. You even got them in the right order. Unfortunately, you didn't really say a single fucking thing. 'Act decisively.' What the hell does that mean? NOTHING. That's what it means. NOTHING. Keep pissing with me, Franny, and you are headed to Purgatory. Oh yeah. Purgatory. The Catholic Church had it right in the first place. It does exist. And it sucks. Elevator music playing all the time and the only thing on TV is infomercials for really shitty stuff.  Oh, and the only food there is Ramen noodles. It is where you are headed, Franny."

Jesus Christ, son of God

No comments: