 |
| Ted Cruz |
“We have the votes! We have the votes!
The Senate will block the funding of Obamacare!”
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas)
 |
| Mike Lee |
- - -
“Yes
indeed! Democrats—hang your heads in shame! This is a victory for the American
people!”
Sen.
Mike Lee (R-Utah)
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“You do NOT have votes and you never
have. You are a creature of your own delusions and I've had enough. We have ALL had enough.”
Sen. John McCain (R-Arizona)
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“Yes
we DO have the votes.”
Sen.
Cruz
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“No, you do not. You have NINE
votes; NINE FUCKING VOTES. Not 51, you lying piece of shit. And if you
say that you do have the votes one more time, I am going to start pulling out
your fingernails one by one.”
Sen. McCain
- - -
 |
| Lindsey Graham |
“But
don’t worry, because I will paint them for you first and they will look
FAB-YOU-LOUS lying there on the floor!”
Sen.
Lindsey Graham
(R-South Carolina)
- - -
 |
| Ted Cruz |
“OK, OK. I won’t say it again.”
Sen. Cruz
- - -
 |
| John McCain |
“And
now tell the American public the truth: you never have had the votes and all of
this bullshit you’ve pulled this week is aimed at securing yourself a place in
the 2016 election. And while you’re pondering whether or not you want to act
right, keep in mind I have my pliers HANDY.”
Sen.
McCain
|
| Ted Cruz |
- - -
“It’s true. We were lying.”
Sen. Cruz
- - -
|
| Lindsey Graham |
“You
too Sen. Lee.”
Sen.
Graham
- - -
|
| Mike Lee |
“Totally. We were lying. Can we go
now?”
Sen. Lee
- - -
|
| John McCain |
“Yes,
get out of my sight before I remove your femur bone using nothing but a paint
roller, three packages of Easter basket grass, and a fish hook. I learned that
one from the Viet Cong, and it is a BEAUTIFUL thing to watch.”
Sen.
McCain
- - -
 |
| Bob Corker |
“Sen.
Cruz, you are a fucking idiot and you are responsible for turning the Senate
into a show, except without commercials and no laugh track. “
Sen.
Bob Corker
(R-Tennessee)
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“Oh yeah? Well, you have your head
shoved so far up Sen. Harry Reid’s ass that you can look out of HIS eyes!”
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas)
- - -
|
| Bob Corker |
“The
name of the game is compromise, and that is a word you don't know, you flaming asshole, now quit the bullshit and let’s move forward.”
Sen.
Corker
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“Oh yeah? Well you don’t know the meaning of the word
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”
Sen. Cruz
- - -
|
| Bob Corker |
“And
what in the name of Jesus Fucking Christ does that have to do with anything.
See? That’s just the kind of shit I’m talking about Cruz! None of this is
supposed to be about YOU. This is supposed to be about getting the best deal we
can get, accepting the compromise, and moving the fuck on. Your game here—the
game of government shutdown—will cost this country, and our party, a lot, and anyone
with half a brain knows it isn’t worth it.”
Sen.
Corker
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“Apple pie! Chevrolet! Second Amendment
Rights! Socialist Medicine! Quaker Oats! FREEDOM! Pro-life! Baseball!...”
Sen. Ted Cruz
|
| Bob Corker |
- - -
“Oh
for fuck’s sake! Not this bullshit again.”
Sen.
Corker
- - -
|
| Ted Cruz |
“…Roast beef with gravy! Liberty! Gas
guzzling automobiles! The Stars and Stripes!...”
Sen. Cruz
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