 |
| Chris Christie |
“Hey
Mitt.”
Gov. Chris
Christie (R-New Jersey)
 |
| Willard Romney |
- - -
“How are you doing, Pufferfish?”
Former
presidential candidate Willard
“Mitt” Romney (R)
- - -
 |
| Chris Christie |
“Yeah
about that… you know you really do suck shit through a crazy straw, right? Who
are you to pick a candidate based on the size of his ass?”
Gov.
Christie
- - -
|
| Willard Romney |
“Well,
I didn’t want you blocking me out at the microphone. Ha, ha, ha. Besides,
Chris—look at how the election turned out. Would you really have wanted to sail
on that Titanic?”
Mitt Romney
- - -
|
| Chris Christie |
“No,
you are right about that. But Pufferfish? Why not just call me ‘Gov. Fat Ass’?
It was pretty insulting. It smacks of a frat-boy mentality, and frankly, of
someone who when in high school, would have tormented kids with weight issues,
or even physically assaulted someone who might have seemed effeminate, though
that is NO indication of sexual orientation at all. Were you that kind of boy,
Mitt. Oh yeah… you were. I remember that from the campaign. Dickhead.”
Gov.
Christie
- - -
|
| Willard Romney |
“LISTEN FAT A…, I mean, Chris, I tried to make
it up to you over the weekend. I said you, and a few others I like, were
electable national candidates. However, I left that stupid shithead Tea Party
motherfucker Ted Cruz off the damn list. He’s not electable. I thought maybe
that would make you happy, too.”
Mitt Romney
- - -
|
| Chris Christie |
“You
did that to make me happy? Bullshit. You hate me as much as I loathe you. Why
did you really do it?”
Gov.
Christie
- - -
 |
| Willard Romney |
“Well, his nose is too pointy and he puts too
much grease in his hair. And you know… he’s part… Cuban.”
Mitt Romney
- - -
|
| Chris Christie |
“You
will never change, Mitt.”
Gov.
Christie
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