 |
| Theresa Heinz Kerry |
“JOHNNY!
JOHNNY! Where are YOU?”
Theresa
Heinz Kerry
 |
| John Kerry |
- - -
“I’m
in Afghanistan, Tessie.”
Secretary
of State John Kerry
- - -
|
| Theresa Heinz Kerry |
“You
are in an afghan? What the fuck are you doing in an afghan? Are you
cold?”
Theresa
Heinz Kerry
- - -
|
| John Kerry |
“Not
an afghan, my love. AFGHANISTAN. It’s a country.”
Secretary
Kerry
- - -
|
| Theresa Heinz Kerry |
“Is
that near New Jersey?”
Theresa
Heinz Kerry
- - -
|
| John Kerry |
“Only
politically, my dear. Now, what do you need?”
Secretary
Kerry
- - -
|
| Theresa Heinz Kerry |
“I
need you to come home. Dinner is in an hour and then I need one of my special
baths and a massage. We’re having your favorite for dinner—ketchup.”
Theresa
Heinz Kerry
- - -
|
| John Kerry |
“No,
that would be your favorite, Tessie. But I can’t be home for dinner tonight. I
am halfway around the world. You will just have to save me some ketchup and
I’ll have it when I get home in a few days.”
Secretary
Kerry
- - -
|
| Theresa Heinz Kerry |
“Johnny,
you can’t keep treating me like this! You're a heartless bastard! You never come home. You never pamper me
anymore. Remember when you used to pamper me with foot rubs and beef jerkey
bits? We were so in love, John. Where did our love go?”
Theresa
Heinz Kerry
- - -
|
| John Kerry |
“I
feel as much love for you now as I ever did, Tessie. You just need to ask your
assistant if she can read you a story while you rest for a bit. I will be home
soon.”
Secretary
Kerry
- - -
|
| Theresa Heinz Kerry |
“If
you can’t come home right now, don’t come home at all! And don’t bring me home
any more ketchup, goddammit, I own a goddam factory! What kind of pervert
are you anyway, always handing out ketchup packets to strange women? Don’t
you ever call here again, you mouth breather!”
Theresa
Heinz Kerry
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