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| Dwight D. "Ike" Eisenhower |
"I launched the Interstate Highway System, the Defense
Advanced Research Projects Agency, the National Aeronautics and Space
Administration. I brought about a strong science education program through the
National Defense Education Act, and encouraged the peaceful use of nuclear power via
amendments to the Atomic Energy Act. I sent federal troops into Arkansas to
enforce segregation orders. Before any of that, I was the Supreme Allied
Commander of the Allied Expeditionary Force during World War II. I was the
president of Columbia University and NATO Supreme Commander. I did all of that stuff
while suffering from some pretty serious health issues that most people didn't
find out about until after I was pushing up daisies. But the thing that should
REALLY make you appreciate me is I won two terms of office with that miserable
cocksucker Richard Milhouse Nixon as my running mate. Now that, my fellow
Americans, is something to write home about."
Dwight D. "Ike" Eisenhower (R), 34th president of the United
States
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