Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

Rick Santorum

"We could have been a team, Newt! We could have been contenders! We could own the White House right now! But your arrogance got in the way."

Rick Santorum, America's favorite Roman Catholic and founding member of the National He-Man Homo-Haters Club, whose personal net worth is estimated at  between $500,000 and $2.6 million.

- - -

Newt Gingrich

"My arrogance? MY ARROGANCE? You neo-fascist latent homosexual bastard! It was your arrogance that kept the 'conservative dream team' from happening."

Newt Gingrich, pundit, former presidential candidate, former Speaker of the House, formerly relevant politico whose net worth is estimated at somewhere between $7 and $18 million.

 - - -

Santorum

"I am not a neo-fascist. And the only thing bigger than your ego is your ass."

Santorum

 - - -

Gingrich

"Ass jokes? From YOU? We all know I should have been at the top of the ticket, Ricky. You're a bottom; everyone knows that just by looking at you.

 Gingrich

Santorum

  - - -

"Fuck off. Go divorce a cancer victim."

 Santorum

Gingrich

- - -

"The very next one I find, I will. I don't like having them around; they are just too messy. Meanwhile, you can go blow a horse. We know what a fan you are of bestiality.

Gingrich

Mister Ed

 - - -

"Hey! Keep us horses out of it."

Mister Ed, famous talking horse