Overheard in a History Book:

Benjamin Franklin

The greatest lesson I can pass on to you, the American citizenry of the 21st Century is this:

Never look a gift whore in the mouth. You will be sorely disappointed and might not like what you see.

Poor Richard's Almanac, indeed.

Benjamin Franklin, founding father, inventor, postmaster, diplomat, and one-time president of Pennsylvania (seriously, he was).