Overheard in Washington, D.C.:

MEANWHILE, over in the Senate, bromantics Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell are having a lovers' tiff:

Harry Reid

"I throw condescension and righteous indignation right in your face."

Harry Reid (D-Nevada), Majority Leader of the U.S. Senate, a man who historically never introduces legislation his favorite lobbyists don't request. His personal worth is estimated at somewhere between $3 and $10 million. Reed scowls a lot because his "dear friend" and coworker Mitch McConnell has a net worth FIVE TIMES that of Reid.

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Mitch McConnell

 "Back at you, except on behalf of the American people, I add a contemptuous mental kick to your groin. TAKE THAT!"

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky), whose personal fortune is estimated at $50 million. 

Harry Reid

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"And while your back is turned, as you laugh at my pain, I make obscene gestures at you."

Harry Reid

Mitch McConnell

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"And I, likewise, use all of my gestures, BUT add a loud, boisterous Bronx cheer.'"

Mitch McConnell

Harry Reid

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"And I fart in your general direction."
Harry Reid

Mitch McConnell

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"Whilst I waive my private parts at your Auntie."

Mitch McConnell

Harry Reid

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"Your father was a hamster."
Harry Reid

Mitch McConnell

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"AND your mother smelt like elderberries."

Mitch McConnell

Harry Reid

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"You suck."
Harry Reid

Mitch McConnell

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"You suck longer and more often."

Mitch McConnell

Harry Reid

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"I hate you."

Harry Reid

Mitch McConnell

 - - -

"I hate you more."

Mitch McConnell

John Cleese

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"Stop using our material, you silly twats, or I will sue your asses and own the White House."
John Cleese