 |
| Jesus Christ |
“What
the hell are you doing in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Franny? The prayer
hotlines are LIT UP with people worrying about churches closing or
something?”
Jesus
Christ,
son of God
- - -
 |
| Pope Francis I |
“Wait. Every time I try to tell you
something you bitch me out and say, ‘I am the son of God; I already know the
answer,’ so you must know why they are praying already. Stop being such a dick.”
Pope Francis I
|
| Jesus Christ |
- - -
“Whoa
there Franny. Simmer down, tiger. Of course I ALWAYS know the answer. But I like to hear you
admit things and watch your face when you do. I like the way the vein in your
right temple throbs when you are telling lies.”
Jesus
Christ
|
| Pope Francis I |
- - -
“I am the pope; I don’t tell lies. No
popes have ever lied.”
Pope Francis I
|
| Jesus Christ |
- - -
“HO
HO HO HO HO! And
Mary Magdalene never gave the disciples free hummers and I never masturbated.
You are so pathetic. Now tell me what’s going on in Philly.”
Jesus
Christ
| |
| Pope Francis I |
- - -
“Well, Jesus, AS YOU KNOW, we
are looking at the financial viability of 47 churches in the Philadelphia area
and many of them will probably be closed because they aren’t making enough
money. This isn’t a charity, you know. We have to answer to the accountants and
when they say it is time to close a church, we do it.”
Pope Francis I
Pope Francis I
|
| Jesus Christ |
- - -
“Well
that’s terrible, Franny! You can’t let money vbe the deciding factor in
everything!
Jesus
Christ
- - -
| |
| Pope Francis I |
“The hell we can’t! Sales of prayer
beads and those magnetic plastic Jesus thingies for your car are way way down.
So is the sale of bottled holy water. We may have to do it.”
Pope Francis I
- - -
|
| Jesus Christ |
“Well
no wonder people are so upset. They might lose their local churches. Find a way
to keep these open, Franny. Too many old people walking to church with no other
options. You are going to cut a lot of people off from hearing the gospel.
Verily verily, I say unto you, stop being so cheap.”
Jesus Christ
| |
| Pope Francis I |
- - -
“Jesus, you have to look on the bright
side. If we close 47 churches, that is 47 fewer places for children to be
sexually assaulted. See? There is a silver lining!
Pope Francis I
|
| Jesus Christ |
- - -
"That is funny and true, but I
am really starting to not like you, Francis.”
Jesus
Christ
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