Overheard off Sesame Street:

Jim DeMint

“You know, the Heritage Foundation’s report P-R-O-O-O-V-E-S Obamacare will mean higher insurance premiums for any stupid dumb poor people who sign up for care—if that damn website the PRESIDENT PERSONALLY DEVELOPED on his own iPad ever works right and they CAN sign up, that is.”

Jim DeMint, former senator and president of the Heritage Foundation, a national conservative ‘think tank’ and political action committee that supports Tea Party-ish candidates

Kermit the Frog

- - - -

“Wel-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l, maybe, maybe not, Mr. DeMint. Count Von Count has been analyzing your numbers VERY CLOSELY, and I think he has something to say about them.”

Kermit the Frog

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Count Von Count

 “Numbers. Ah, ah, ah.”

Count Von Count

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Kermit the Frog

 “Let me explain. It seems that when you were adding up your columns of numbers you maybe forgot one pretty fucking important column, Mr. DeMint, and that would be the amount of money people would receive in the form of tax subsidies to be used toward the purchase of health insurance under the Obamacare program. Did you Heritage folk do that intentionally or was it just a mistake?”

Kermit

Jim DeMint

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“We did not believe it was important. Who knows how realistic those numbers are? What we do know is that Obamacare is going to be a realistic disaster for the entire world, particularly those who have to pay for it, like the good hard working Americans who don’t want government involved in every aspect of their lives and just want to settle down and live peacefully on their Social Security checks and Medicare.”

Jim DeMint

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Count Von Count

“Numbers are always realistic. Numbers are real. The Count is real. Ah-ah-ah-ah.”

Count Von Count

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Kermit the Frog

 “What the Count means to say is that by following your logic, who the hell knows how realistic YOUR numbers are going to be in a month or a year or two years? Your argument goes both ways, you know. You can’t say their numbers are bad, but yours are good just because they are yours. And you know, this is reading an awful lot like a Muppet Movie, and you, Mr. DeMint, LOOK and ACT like a perfect Muppet Movie villain.”

Kermit

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Count Von Count

 “There are no bad numbers. Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.”

Count Von Count

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Jim DeMint

“Listen. I have a giant shredder here. Do you have any idea what a shredder can do to felt?”

Mr. DeMint

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Miss Piggy

 “Do you have any idea what a pig can do to a man’s groin? Don’t mess with The Frog, Jimbo, because when you do, you mess with The Pig.”

Miss Piggy

Kermit the Frog

- - - -

 “Thanks, Piggy.”

Kermit