Overheard at the Vatican:

Pope Francis I

"I am calling on all Catholics to leave their comfort zone, to try new things, new ways of communing with Christ. For instance, if you are a pedophile and you wish to leave your comfort zone, try being a heterosexual, or even a homosexual, though that will damn you to hell—unless you are a priest, then it is OK, as long as you don't get caught. I hope none of this gets messed up in the translation from Italian to other languages."

Pope Francis I

Jesus Christ and his lunch

- - -

 

"Pope Franny, I would like YOU to leave your comfort zone and start acting to fix some of the problems at the Vatican and within the church. Father will only have patience for so long, ya know, and then POOF! he gets upset and the next thing you know it's raining leeches. I expect an update soon. And yes, it's Thursday, so it's Greek food day, hence the lamb. Father made mutton because it is just so damn tasty!"

Jesus Christ, son of God

Pope Francis's namesake, Francis the Talking Mule

 - - -

"If you need help, Franny, let me know. I feel an obligation since you took my name and all. But say it in English, goddamit, I don't speak Italian. Or Latin." 

Francis the Talking Mule